Literature Review

After losing his wife, 92-year-old man turns grief into comfort for other Spectrum News 1 - Greece, NY; by Seth Voorhees; 8/4/25 The loss of a spouse can be devastating. A Rochester area man is turning his personal grief into comfort for others. The gesture has special meaning for families of people in hospice care. Howard Jones has always dabbled in art. At 92, the Kodak retiree has made painting his full-time job. ... [His wife through 68 years,] Estella spent her final weeks at Hildebrandt Hospice Care Center, where staff noticed Howard Jones would pass the time by painting rocks. Someone told him the story of the cardinal, and how some believe their appearance is a sign that a departed loved one is near.  ... [Now, he paints] “every day, eight hours a day,” said Jones. ... “It’s all a matter of getting the bird to look right,” he said. ... “My hope is always that when someone takes one of the stones out of the basket, they can feel the emotion that went into painting it,” said Jones. Since he began keeping track in February, Howard Jones says he’s painted over 500 cardinals. “And that's kept me going,” he said.Editor's Note: This demonstrates beautifully the "instrumental style of grieving" (identified by Ken Doka and Terry Martin in Grieving Beyond Gender) where men (and women) tend to grieve through actively doing something, in contrast to verbal and emotional expression. We described this more in our post, To Be or To Do? Women and Men's different styles of grieving.

The quiet note: Music, the language of compassion at life's end Psychology Today; by Sara Leila Sherman and Morton Sherman; 7/14/25 Music plays a vital role in the quieter, more tender, more difficult moments of life, especially near the end. We’ve seen how a single note, played or remembered, can become a bridge between worlds, between a person and their memories, a caregiver and a patient, a life lived and a life letting go. In those final moments of life, where silence often speaks louder than words, music and mindful action offer something medicine cannot: presence.