What grieving moms want for Mother's Day 
The Compassionate Friends - Supporting Family After a Child Dies; posted on 5/10/17, retrieved from the internet 5/8/25 
Acknowledgement is what grieving mothers want most for Mother’s Day, suggests a survey by www.thecomfortcompany.net. ... The online survey asked, “What can others do to ease your pain on Mother’s Day?” Over 80 percent of the 200 respondents answered, “Recognize that I am a mother.” ... In response to the survey result, The Comfort Company has issued a list of ten simple ways to reach out to a grieving mother on this difficult holiday. 

• Recognize that they are a mother. ...
• Acknowledge they have had a loss. ...
• Use their child’s name in conversation. ...
• Visit the grave site. ...
• Light a candle. ...
• Share a memory of a picture of the child. ...
• Send a gift of remembrance. ...
• Don’t try to minimize the loss. ...
• Encourage self-care. ...

Editor's note: Do you know a mother whose child has died? Perhaps a family member or friend? An employee or volunteer? Your thoughtful actions and words can bring a moment of sustaining compassion. 

Listen to what your mother tells you, especially near the end 
News+ Membership; by Jerry Davich; 5/7/25
If your mother is no longer alive, what were her last words to you? My mom passed away two years ago and I’ve been asking myself this question since her last breath, which took place in my presence. I had just placed a yellow tulip next to her pillow on a bed inside her hospice room. It was an early Mother’s Day gift, continuing a tradition I started as a child with a stolen tulip from a neighbor’s yard. I knew my mother would not be around a month later for her special holiday. In fact, she wouldn’t be around just a minute later. While pondering that stolen moment, I looked over to my mom and noticed her left index finger moving. It was just a twitch, but until that time she had made no movements since she was admitted into a local hospice near my home. ... Though I can’t recall my mom’s final words, I deeply feel her lasting legacy of love for my family. We continue to talk about her every day. We think of her every moment. We share photos and memories of her on a family group text thread. Some make us laugh. Some make us cry. This is the beauty and the heartbreak of losing a mother or a father. My mom may be gone, but her gentle voice can be heard in my head any time I want or need it. ...

'I've already had my miracle': 26-year-old Savannah mom enters hospice care with only weeks to live 
ABC WJCL 22 News, Savannah, GA; by Savannah Younger; 12/4/24, posted in our newsletter on 12/20/24
As the holiday season begins, Sara Long, a 26-year-old Savannah woman, is entering hospice care after a prolonged battle with kidney failure. Now the wife and mother is preparing to say her final goodbyes to family and friends. "I wanted to make sure that everything's kind of ready to go for when family visits and all that kind of stuff," Long said. "So, I just want to make things as easy as possible for everybody." Long has been told she has two to three weeks left to live and is now preparing her family for her passing. ... Their daughter, Riley, 4, is too young to understand what is happening, but Long is creating a hope chest so Riley can always remember her. "There are probably dozens, if not hundreds, of letters at this point, to open at different various points in her life. So, like her first day of school all through, or a graduate degree, potentially," Long said. "I feel like I've already had my miracle," Sara said. "I feel like Riley is my miracle. ..."
Editor's note: Sara Long died sooner than expected, just 8 days later on December 12, 2024. Click here for the moving message from her husband, describing her death, paired with the video from December 4th. Click here for an additional "exclusive" interview from People magazine with Sara, describing her decision to enter hospice care.

'The Grief Lady:' NC woman uses mother's funeral flowers to create art, help others heal 
WRAL TV News, Raleigh, NC; by Heather Leah; 4/18/24, posted in our newsletter 4/29/24  
Grief is a journey--and you never know for sure where it'll take you. When Janet Willis' mom passed away from small cell lung cancer in her 70s, Willis said she felt like she lost more than a mother; she lost a piece of herself. The loss launched her on a 100 day journey, creating art with the dried flower petals saved from her mother's funeral and sharing her grief experience with her followers. Each day she created a new piece of art – and each day it's as much a surprise for her as it is for her viewers. [See photos.]

Hospice of Southern West Virginia to host grief support session ahead of Mother’s Day 
ABC WOAY-4, Oak Hill, WV; by Brandy Lawrence; 5/6/25 [posted for their community before the event] 
As Mother’s Day approaches, many individuals face a renewed sense of loss and sorrow. To provide comfort and support during this emotionally challenging time, Hospice of Southern West Virginia (HSWV) will hold a special grief support session focused on coping with the loss of a mother or maternal figure. The session is scheduled for Thursday, May 8, 2025, from 5:30 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. at Bowers Hospice House. The event is open to anyone in the community navigating the grief of losing their mother. The session aims to offer a safe, compassionate space for attendees to honor loved ones, share cherished memories, and find solace in the presence of others who understand their pain.

SERIOUS ILLNESS: 10 ways to embrace Mother’s Day with a seriously ill mother 
Roze Room Hospice, Culver City, CA; Website; retrieved from the internet 5/8/2025
Spending Mother’s Day with a seriously ill mother can be emotional, but it’s also an opportunity to create meaningful and loving memories. Here are 10 ways to embrace Mother’s Day with a seriously ill mother:

1. Share Heartfelt Memories ...
2. Write Her a Letter ...
3. Create a Relaxing Atmosphere ...
4. Bring Mother’s Day to Her ...
5. Engage in Simple Activities ...
6. Pamper Her ...
7. Have a Gratitude Circle ...
8. Listen to Her Stories ...
9. Spend Quiet, Meaningful Time Together ...
10. Celebrate Her Legacy ...

DEMENTIA: When they don’t recognize you anymore: Dementia study looks at loved ones’ responses 
Penn Live - Nation & World News; by Paula Span, KFF Health News; 5/4/25 
It happened more than a decade ago, but the moment remains with her. Sara Stewart was talking at the dining room table with her mother, Barbara Cole, 86 at the time, in Bar Harbor, Maine. Stewart, then 59, a lawyer, was making one of her extended visits from out of state. ... “She said to me: ‘Now, where is it we know each other from? Was it from school?’” her daughter and firstborn recalled. “I felt like I’d been kicked.” Stewart remembers thinking, “In the natural course of things, you were supposed to die before me. But you were never supposed to forget who I am.” Later, alone, she wept.

CAREGIVING:  Aging with adventure - The challenge of caring 
Daily Hampshire Gazette, Northampton, MA; by Eric Weld; 2/28/25, posted in our newsletter on 3/3/25 
I made a mistake. I took a hiatus from writing in this space about aging with adventure because I thought I was taking a hiatus from adventure. Boy, was I wrong. I errantly thought that spending more than a year caring for my elderly mother in her final time on earth was taking me away from adventure. I am honored to have enabled my mother’s final days spent at home — not her home, but my sister’s private home — instead of in a public or private nursing facility. ... I assumed, in taking on the role of her co-caretaker, I would temporarily preempt my semi-retirement modus operandi of striking out on great adventures. To the contrary, what I learned from spending nearly two years co-caring for my aging mother is that end-of-life care is, indeed, every bit an adventure on many levels. And of course, it’s certainly about aging. 
Editor's note: This son defines adventure as having four key components: "challenge, risk, education and movement. 

CAREGIVING: For 27 years, I had minimal contact with my abusive mother. Then she moved in with me. 
HuffPost; by Carole Brodsky; 1/20/25, posted in our newsletter on 1/21/25
... Living with my mom was the last thing I ever thought I’d be doing as an adult. Perhaps I accepted her back into my life because there were no other options available. Perhaps it was because I was the daughter of someone who in today’s vernacular would be called a “tiger mom,” and I’d been taught caring for an aging parent was what “good daughters” did.  ... As a child, my mother was abusive.  ... [Now, as] Mom’s verbal skills declined, we had to use our eyes, guts and hearts to discern the needs of a person whose tether to this world was fraying before our eyes. ... My partner has a saying: I always forgive, but I never forget. I have unequivocally forgiven my mother for everything. I have tried, with varying degrees of success, to let the vestiges of her abuse die with her and not invade the lives of my children, grandchildren and now, great-grandchildren. The work on forgiving myself will continue for the rest of my life.

HOSPICE - INSPIRATIONAL: 92-year-old Victoria woman under hospice care throws first pitch at Generals game  
Victoria Advocate; by Advocate Staff; 6/22/24, posted in our newsletter on 6/24/24
A 92-year-old Victoria woman and hospice patient was thrilled to throw the first pitch at a recent Generals game. Virginia Hirsch threw the pitch at the June 15 game at Riverside Stadium after she was nominated by Hospice of South Texas, where she is a patient. Virginia was so excited to be nominated,” the woman’s daughter Teresa Diefenbach said. “...  She said that this was one of the greatest nights she has had in a long time.” She is currently under outpatient hospice care due to having a brain tumor and lymphoma. ...  Hirsch and her late husband Daniel Hirsch used to attend games to cheer on their grandson Denver Diefenbach, who was a pitcher for the Generals in 2011. “It was such a special and full-circle moment to see my grandmother, who’s always been one of my biggest supporters, throw out the first pitch for the Victoria Generals,” Diefenbach, the pitcher, said. “This is the same team I played for ..., and it means the world to me. The memories of having my grandparents in the stands cheering me on are something I’ll always cherish. Now, to witness my grandmother taking the mound at the field where I spent my high school and some college years is incredibly inspiring. Her strength and spirit continue to be a guiding light for our family.”

HOSPICE: [Nurse] Daughter embraces mom’s hospice journey  
City Sun Times, Phoenix, AZ; by Lin Sue Flood; 3/25/25, posted in our newsletter on 3/30/25
As a nurse, Robin Benton is used to caring for people who are ill. But it’s different when your mother is the one who is sick. Her mom, Charlotte Brewer, a former nurse herself, has multiple myeloma, a rare type of blood cancer. In March 2024, the 80-year-old Valley resident decided to stop curative treatments in favor of comfort care with Hospice of the Valley, where she worked for over 10 years, before retiring in 2007. ... Charlotte’s Hospice of the Valley nurse, Kelly Langston, admires the way the family is living this stage of life with great intention, creating new ways to deepen their love for each other. “They came up with an idea for a hug shirt,” shared Kelly. “Everyone in the family painted their arms then took turns hugging each other — stamping an imprint of encircled arms on the shirts. It’s a way to feel each other’s hugs even when they aren’t together.” [View this creative shirt.]

HOSPICE: Children’s book written by Manheim Township mother finally published 3 years after she died of cancer 
LNP Lancaster Online, Lancaster, PA; by John Walk; 1/27/25, posted in our newsletter on 1/28/25
As she battled a rare sarcoma cancer over the last two years of her life, Manheim Township resident Ginny McCreary struggled to find a children’s book she could read to her two young daughters to help them better understand what she was going through. So McCreary wrote the book herself, sometimes on a smartphone while laying in bed late at night, ... McCreary died Aug. 15, 2021. She was 34. She left behind a self-published manuscript of the children’s book that sat idle for about two years but was not forgotten. ... The book has also made its way inside four Hospice & Community Care locations in Lancaster as well as Penn Medicine’s Ann B. Barshinger Cancer Institute in East Hempfield Township. [Video with Ginny's mother] "I'd love to get it to some cancer centers and hospice centers ..." 

GRIEF: How to survive Mother’s Day when your mom is gone 
Psychology Today - Dementia; by Deborah Carr, PhD; 5/8/25 
... By age 50, about half of us have mourned the death of our mother. More than 4 million older women in the U.S. have dementia, and most have children who are witnessing their cognitive declines. Whether your mother has died or slipped into the grip of late-stage dementia, Mother's Day can be hard, although the sharp pangs of sadness tend to fade with time after a mom's death. So, how do you survive Mother’s Day when your mom isn't here to celebrate with you?

• Appreciate the good things in life that would make your mom happy (and fix those things that wouldn’t). ...
• Reach out to your siblings: Mom would be pleased. ...
• Celebrate the other moms in your life. ...
• Remember that Mother’s Day is just a day, but your mom stays with you for life. ...
• Support a cause or take up an activity that's important to your mom. ...
• Introduce your mom to the youngest generation. ...
• Support friends whose moms have passed away. ...
• Share your stories and memories. ...

GRIEF VIDEO: Holes and Wholeness - Mother's Day 2025, Finding peace in the pieces, wholeness in the holes 
Composing Life Out of Loss, "Want to Understand Your Grief?" Video Library; by Joy Berger; updated 5/8/25 
Holidays, birthdays and anniversaries. They’re supposed to bring celebration, fun, food, gifts, rituals, and rich meanings. But, when our loved one is seriously ill, or has died, these same days of joy can become … holes of grief. It's already hard enough, but with the holidays, we fear that emotions will flood us, that memories will trigger us, like ...                                                 

PROFESSIONAL SELF-CARE: Becoming time rich with physician moms: Sarah Wittry [hospice] and Nicole Perrotte 
MarketScale - Ripple of Change; by Todd Otten; 7/30/24, posted in our newsletter on 8/11/24 
In today’s high-stress healthcare environment, physician mothers face the formidable challenge of balancing demanding careers with their personal lives. The conversation on work-life balance is more relevant than ever, with more women in medicine seeking ways to manage these dual responsibilities effectively. How can physician moms navigate this landscape to reclaim time for themselves without guilt? What strategies can physician moms employ to achieve a healthier work-life balance? This pressing question lies at the heart of today’s discussion on the Ripple of Change podcast. ... Key points of discussion:

• Boundary Setting ...
• Microhabit Management ...
• Support Networks ...

I wonder if my first breath was as soul-stirring to my mother as her last breath was to me. ~ Lisa Goich-Andreadis, 14 Days: A Mother, A Daughter, A Two-Week Goodbye

My mother had a great deal of trouble with me, but I think she enjoyed it. ~ Mark Twain