Literature Review

How to manage sibling relationships strained by family caregiving AARP; by Christine A. Di Pasquale; 11/25/24 ... Conflict around caregiving is not unusual, especially between sisters, says Megan Gilligan, Ph.D., an associate professor of Human Development & Family Science at the University of Missouri. Gilligan is a co-author of the longitudinal Within-Family Differences Study that looks at understanding the “relationships between parents and their adult children and grandchildren, as well as between siblings in adulthood.” Gilligan and her colleagues found that sisters tend to be more critical of one another than sons when it comes to parental caregiving. “Daughters are raised with a sense of expectation, obligation, of wanting to provide that care and wanting that care to look a certain way,” she explains. “And we found that when multiple daughters were involved in care, maybe sometimes they’re kind of stepping on each other’s toes whereas … sons were more likely to kind of step back and let sisters navigate that,” she says. ... Gilligan suggests that we replace the idea of equality with equity in caregiving. Siblings should ask what the parents want each child to do and then divide that work equitably if not equally in order to reduce sources of stress for the ailing parent and among siblings.

How to start the most difficult conversation in the world this holiday season EIN Presswire, Philadelphia, PA; by Cremstar; 11/25/24 According to a Caring.com Survey only 32% of Americans have a will. This Thanksgiving take advantage of this year’s holiday gatherings to plan for the inevitable. ... “There isn’t one right way to approach this topic. It really depends on the person you’re talking with,” says J.G. Sandom, CEO of Cremstar, a leading online cremation service. For example, if you know your person doesn’t like to be taken by surprise, give them a heads up, says Kate DeBartolo of the Conversation Project, an initiative of the Institute for Healthcare Improvement. Planning a visit with your parent(s)? Let them know beforehand that this topic is on your mind and that you’d like to talk about it with them. This gives them the opportunity to think about what they want, if they haven’t already. Here are Four Tips to ensure a successful dialogue:

If my dying daughter could face her mortality, why couldn’t the rest of us? DNYUZ, appearing first in The New York Times; Ms. Wildman; 11/25/24 The first week of March 2022, I flew to Miami with my 13-year-old daughter, Orli; her 8-year-old sister, Hana; and my partner, Ian. We were, by all appearances, healthy. Robust, even. In reality, we were at the end of a reprieve. Orli’s liver cancer had by then been assaulted by two years of treatments — chemotherapy, a liver transplant, more chemotherapy, seven surgeries. Now new metastases lit up a corner of one lung on scans, asymptomatic but foreboding. We asked her medical team if we might show her a bit of the world before more procedures. Our oncologist balked. Hence, this brief weekend away. When we arrived at the beach Orli ran directly to the water, then came back and stretched out on a lounge chair. She turned to me and asked, “What if this is the best I ever feel again?” Three hundred and seventy-six days later, she was dead. In the time since she left us, I have thought often of Orli’s question. All that spring, Orli asked, pointedly, why did we think a cure was still possible, that cancer would not continue to return? Left unspoken: Was she going to die from her disease? It was a conversation she wanted to have. And yet what we found over the wild course of her illness was that such conversations are often discouraged, in the doctor’s office and outside it. ... [Click on the title's link to continue reading this profound story.]Editor's note: While families are gathered for Thanksgiving, many health changes will be observed since this time last Thanksgiving, with countless unknowns to unfold until Thanksgiving next year. Tune into the wide scope of conversations that people do want to have, don't want to have, and--perhaps--that your own family needs to have, with grace and care for all.

Mom of 4 is placed in hospice care 2 weeks before son's wedding. On his big day, she's on the dance floor with a smile (exclusive) People; by Jordan Greene; 11/14/24 ... In October, before entering hospice care, Liv recalls how her mom was in the hospital, and all she could talk about was attending the wedding. With Olivia's health deteriorating, Liv says her brother Salvatore and his fiancée Kelsey had even considered holding the wedding ceremony in the hospital room if necessary. But that contingency plan quickly became unnecessary. On Nov. 2, their mom defied expectations and arrived at Basilica Hudson in Hudson, New York, alongside the other 105 guests to watch her son walk down the aisle — turning the hopes of her kids and everyone else in attendance into a reality. In fact, Liv says her mom exceeded even the best-case scenario the family had imagined. ...

It’s been weeks since I watched Elizabeth Olsen's His Three Daughters, and there's one thing I still can't shake CinemaBlend; by Heidi Venable; 11/10/24 There is a seemingly never-ending list of great options to binge on Netflix, and while I do love to actually make a trip to the theater, there’s no denying the convenience of streaming. After hearing some positive things about His Three Daughters — an offering on Netflix’s 2024 schedule — I decided to check it out, despite knowing the subject matter might hit a little close to home. It’s now been weeks since I watched the movie about three sisters navigating their father’s final days, and I still cannot shake how true it felt to my family’s own experiences with end-of-life care. ... Old wounds and a complicated family dynamic are quickly revealed as they all deal with his impending death in their own ways. The story really stuck with me, and here are a few reasons it felt so real.

Creating death box eases stress, brings 'peace of mind' to those left behind BradfordToday.ca, Canada; by Andrew Philips; 10/26/24 Creating a death box might sound like sort of a morbid thing to do, but it’s vitally important. That’s according to Tammy Vaters, supportive care coordinator at Hospice Huronia-Tomkins House, ... who leads upcoming workshops on creating a death box or a “legacy box or final wishes box” for those uncomfortable with the more succinct terminology ["death box"]. ... Besides end-of-life wishes, Vaters says the box can include photos that someone would like displayed at a celebration of life or similar offering along with personalized letters to family and friends and personal mementos that have special meaning. “It gives you more opportunities of expressing how you feel about somebody,” she says, noting the boxes should also contain usernames and passwords that may aid one's loved ones after death. “They can be more thoughtful and personal.” Vaters, who is a specialist in thanatology (the study of death, dying and bereavement), says people will often use another term for death. 

Eight important financial questions to ask your aging parents LifeHacker; by Emily Long; 10/23/24Money conversations can be uncomfortable, but they are also essential. ... When you start asking financial questions of your parents, remember that you don't need specifics, such as dollar amounts or who is inheriting what. The purpose of these discussions is to ensure your parents' wishes are backed by a plan and to understand whether (and how) they want or need your support as they age. Their plan may also affect you directly if you have power of attorney, help with paying bills, or are expected to be a caregiver in the future.

Ellen McGirt on supporting caregivers at work Great Place to Work; by Roula Amire with Ellen McGirt; 10/8/24 This episode of Better features journalist, speaker, and podcast host Ellen McGirt. In this deeply personal conversation, we dive into the challenges of caregiving while balancing a career.  ...On how managers can better support caregivers at work: Flexible time off, no questions asked. A flexible schedule can change everything for people. ...On the impact a senior leader can have by talking about caregiving and grief: If a very senior person triggers this conversation in the workplace with a disclosure or concern, you're going to see new training, new conversations, new talking points, and new volunteers, and maybe even new staff positions around this. ...On how colleagues can support coworkers who are caretakers, or members of the sandwich generation: Kindness and compassion go a long way. ...

I watched "His Three Daughters" on Netflix, and have to talk about how relatable the family conflict is Y!entertainment.com; by Corey Chichizola; 9/25/24 The streaming wars are showing no signs of slowing down, with the various services offering a variety of new and exciting content. One new film that might end up being one of the best Netflix movies out there is Azazel Jacobs' His Three Daughters, which is streaming now for those with a Netflix subscription. I recently streamed the flick, and have to talk about the family dynamics, especially as we slowly get closer to The Holidays. His Three Daughters focuses on (you guessed it) three sisters, adult women who are forced to cohabitate as their father is in hospice care. Director Azazel Jacobs put tributes to hospice nurses in the film, but other than that its largely about the three women's relationships with each other. And I loved how realistic it felt, especially in the way that family occasions tend to bring out honesty among relatives... for better or worse. Editor's note: This movie is getting alot of media buzz. I watched it and found the family's dynamics through their father's final days of actively dying to be spot-on. However--especially since "hospice" is core to the story--I was concerned about some basic communications and practices from the the hospice nurse. Examples include discussions about calling 911, what to do when the death occurs, no sense of a larger hospice team or  agency support (just these 2 nurses), an ICU-like monitor, and (yikes!) smoking inside a small apartment with the father's oxygen machine nearby. (Oh no!) I put these forth as you hear others talk about this "hospice" movie. Still, the family conflicts--specific to their father's dying--are indeed "relatable," authentic, and worth the watch.

Guidelines for supporting the dying and their families Psychiatric Times; by Ken Druck, PhD; 9/19/24 There are few subjects that most of us, including those who work in mental health, avoid more than death and dying. Meeting the needs of the dying and their families requires a deep and clear understanding of competent and compassionate care for health care professionals and caregivers. Since the death of my 21-year-old daughter several decades ago, I have had the honor and privilege of helping countless individuals, families, and communities that have suffered losses. I have also been given the opportunity to teach and train mental health professionals and developed several programs and guidelines for supporting the dying and their families. My top 7 guidelines to share with patients and their families are as follows:

5 books to make caregiving a little more manageable DNYUZ; 8/19/24Tina Sadarangani, a geriatric nurse practitioner in New York City, has spent years working with older adults and their families. She counsels patients on the medications they should take, the eating habits they should change and the specialists they should see. But it wasn’t until her own father became seriously ill — requiring a slew of medications, deliveries, physical therapy and more — that she understood the experience from what she calls “the other side of the table.” ... Here are five titles, recommended by health care providers and other experts, to help those who help others.

[Community & Caregivers] Stay ahead of Medicare fraudsters The NB Xpress, North Baltimore, OH; by Sue Miklovic; 7/26/24 Every day, criminals target older Americans with one goal – to steal their Medicare numbers and other protected health information. To fraudsters, this information is just as valuable as credit card information. These criminals steal Medicare numbers and unlawfully bill Medicare for medical services that were never provided to the patient or overbill for provided services. ... Consider these tips to help protect yourself against Medicare fraud and stay one step ahead of fraudsters: ...

Can Artificial Intelligence speak for incapacitated patients at the end of life? JAMA Internal Medicine; by Teva D. Brender, MD; Alexander K. Smith, MD; Brian L. Block, MD; 7/22/24 Viewpoint: Imagine meeting with the daughter of a critically ill patient. The patient (her mother) had a cardiac arrest, is in multiorgan failure, and cannot communicate. The daughter is uncomfortable making decisions because they are estranged and never discussed what her mother would want in this type of situation. The patient has no advance directive or alternative surrogate. Now imagine this meeting taking place in a future where the mother’s medical visits have been audio recorded. Furthermore, you have access to an artificial intelligence (AI) algorithm that can identify and play excerpts of the mother talking about what mattered most to her. You and the daughter listen to these recordings together. Then you share that another algorithm, trained on 7 million patient records, predicts that the mother’s chance of walking again is less than 5%. ...