What It’s Like Watching My Friends Die in Prison

What It’s Like Watching My Friends Die in Prison
By Martez Johnson
Vera
December 7, 2023
I work in hospice at a maximum-security prison. The question I get the most is, “How can you do that?” Honestly, it’s not easy. We are literally sitting with death. Hospice is a program that we sign up for, where we sit with another prisoner while he dies. That’s not all we do; there’s far more to it than that. But for now, that’s what I’ll say. When someone who is sick and has signed a “do not resuscitate” order gets to the point of no return, they call us in. I or one of my comrades sit with them while they die. When I started hospice, I didn’t really know what it meant. I understood how to do the job itself, but I didn’t really understand its gravity in full. The toll it takes on you. How mental it is. How much love it takes. How much forgiveness you have to give to the man who’s dying in front of you, even when it’s not yours to give. How much it makes you want forgiveness for your past actions. I go into each room knowing that death is on the other side of that door. By the time I show up, there’s no more hope. Can you imagine being in prison without any hope? I don’t think it’s right for any human to die in prison, but I’ve seen it so many times. I walk with death. I sit with death. ... So, to answer that question I get most: I do this because my friends need me to.
[Editor’s Note: an advocate for prison reform, a writer, a hospice volunteer, and a mentor.]