It’s OK to Never ‘Get Over’ Your Grief

It’s OK to Never ‘Get Over’ Your Grief
By Mikolaj Slawkowski-Rode, MA, PhD
New York Times
December 3, 2023
Over the past century, traditional mourning practices have fallen out of favor in the West. Black is now usually worn only to a funeral, and not always then. But traditional mourning practices were designed to do just that: to preserve a place for the dead among the living, to help mourners carry the weight of their grief not by getting over it but by maintaining their relationship with the deceased (as metaphysically suspect as that might sound to modern ears). Today we are encouraged to step out from the shadow loss casts over our lives and return to happiness. ... This approach to grief and mourning might seem to be a good thing, like picking yourself up after a fall. It is arguably less morbid, with its emphasis on “getting closure” and “moving on” in a process whose goal is “healing.” But I fear the benefits do not outweigh the costs. ... 
[Editor’s Note: The author is an assistant professor of philosophy at the University of Warsaw and a research fellow at Blackfriars Hall at the University of Oxford. He is the editor of “The Meaning of Mourning: Perspectives on Death, Loss, and Grief.”]