Literature Review

Lamar Area Hospice’s grief programs are made possible from BBB donations The Prowers Journal, Lamar, CO; by Barbara Crimond; 11/20/24 The words “good” and “grief” don’t commonly go together.  At the Lamar Area Hospice, however, they not only go together but, when combined, embrace the idea of a place to go which allows children and adults to normalize their grief, receive support from others experiencing similar emotional struggles and education in healthy ways to move through their grief.  They learn that they can tell their stories in a safe, loving and nurturing environment.  I recently met with Deb Pelley (Executive Director of Lamar Area Hospice). Roni Vallejos (Children’s Good Grief Coordinator) and Kelsie Cedeno (Adult Bereavement Coordinator) to learn more about these programs.  I could immediately sense the compassion and love for their jobs that all three women have. Before telling me about the programs though, they told me that it was only because of the generous donations from the BBB each year that the programs can even exist. They wanted to express how extremely grateful they are to BBB for enabling them to continue Jillian Sweet Tinnes’s legacy. ...

Stewarding loss Stanford Social Innovation Review; by Camille Acey; 11/19/24 - "Winter 2025" What happens when organizations and institutions need to die? And why is this part of the work often overlooked in systems change and social innovation practice? ... Stewarding Loss is a field-building initiative focused on the process of closure, ending, and dismantling as a journey to be designed. Over the course of several years, Stewarding Loss has engaged in a range of activities, from creating “loss circles” as spaces where people anticipating organizational closures can come to share stories and concerns; to conducting interviews with a range of practitioners involved in end-of-life care, including ritual and ceremonial hosts, grief therapists, and death doulas so we could learn how to translate practices across different contexts; to hosting roundtables with philanthropic foundations and speaking at numerous events to allow us to gather insight and feedback regarding ideas and needs for this work; to prototyping a Farewell Fund to learn what type of invitation and application might encourage organizations to become proactive about closing, and what supports might be needed by people on the journey to closure.

'My charity wedding dress brought me closer to Mum' BBC, Manchester, United Kingdom; 11/16/24 Like many brides, when Jo Johnson started planning her wedding, she wanted her mother to be an integral part of the day. But as June Kiely had died nine years earlier, she faced a puzzle as to how to bring her into the ceremony, until she realised there was a way of both feeling closer to her mum and honouring those who cared for her in her final days. June Kiely died at the St Ann's Hospice in Little Hulton, Salford, in 2015, and in the run up to getting married, Jo found herself at the charity's bridal and vintage shop in Stockport. The 38-year-old said it was a "magic moment" as she knew instantly it was the place where she would find the perfect dress. Jo said getting her dress from the shop was "a really special way to include my mum but also to give back to the hospice for everything they'd done." She said the hospice had given her mum "incredible care" and as soon as she walked into the shop, she knew she was "doing the right thing."

Death is a natural part of life, but our society struggles to support those who are grieving. Iowa Public Radio (IPR); host Charity Nebbe; 11/14/24 After a profound loss, the instinct is often to try and ease the pain for those who are grieving, but grief counselor Lynette Jordan says the pain of grief needs to be felt. This hour, host Charity Nebbe speaks with Jordan as well as mother and son Brianna and Grayson Wills about how they developed an open dialogue of grief in the seven years since the death of Grayson's twin brother, Calder. She also speaks with CL Lepley, who through experiencing many difficult losses since age five has become an expert in supporting those who are grieving. Guests:

[England] Woman doing race for hospice that helped husband BBC News; Lorna Bailey and Andrew Dawkins; 11/4/24 A woman is taking part in a 120km (75-mile) race over four days through the deserts of Jordan for a hospice that helped care for her husband. Charlotte Rochenard-Taylor, from Warwick, said running became a way for her to cope with grief, after Jamie died from a brain tumour in June last year. She is participating in the Marathon des Sables to raise money for Myton Hospice, which has sites in Coventry, Warwick and Rugby. Ms Rochenard-Taylor said it was "just a way to keep alive, if that makes sense, getting again out of my comfort zone to just feel like fully alive". One of her husband's last wishes was to die at home, stated the runner, who made it her "mission for this to happen". She added: "Thanks to the Myton Hospice, the at-home team... that was made possible." ... "I [found] that running actually became for me a way to cope with the grief, just to get out there and just get the rage out and just... mental wellbeing really." Ms. Rochenard-Taylor, who broke her pelvis a few years ago, said the charity was close to her heart, and the race starting on Tuesday was an ideal way to support it.

Creating death box eases stress, brings 'peace of mind' to those left behind BradfordToday.ca, Canada; by Andrew Philips; 10/26/24 Creating a death box might sound like sort of a morbid thing to do, but it’s vitally important. That’s according to Tammy Vaters, supportive care coordinator at Hospice Huronia-Tomkins House, ... who leads upcoming workshops on creating a death box or a “legacy box or final wishes box” for those uncomfortable with the more succinct terminology ["death box"]. ... Besides end-of-life wishes, Vaters says the box can include photos that someone would like displayed at a celebration of life or similar offering along with personalized letters to family and friends and personal mementos that have special meaning. “It gives you more opportunities of expressing how you feel about somebody,” she says, noting the boxes should also contain usernames and passwords that may aid one's loved ones after death. “They can be more thoughtful and personal.” Vaters, who is a specialist in thanatology (the study of death, dying and bereavement), says people will often use another term for death. 

Palm Harbor family suffers flood after Milton, less than month after mother dies from breast cancer ABC WFTS Tampa Bay, FL; by Jessica De Leon; 10/26/24 One Palm Harbor family is gutting the first floor of their home, destroyed by flood waters after Hurricane Milton. Cali Gignac’s childhood home is not in a flood zone or near any large bodies of water, yet more than two feet of water entered her parents' townhome and destroyed everything just a month after her mother died. “We haven’t had a chance to sort her mementos. We haven’t had a chance to grieve her or anything. And now it’s like... everything is garbage.” Now, they are trying to save what they can, sometimes stopping to take a snapshot of notes or photos that they find. But as tears come, they quickly move on, knowing they have so much to do.“Our photo albums are just, like, melting.”Editor's note: Click here for a public service educational video, "Community Crisis and Grief," with a significant section devoted to coping with "normal" bereavement in the midst of a community crisis. Disclosure, provided by Composing Life Out of Loss, a sponsor of this newsletter.

[Netherlands] The spiritual dimension of parents' experiences caring for a seriously ill child: An interview studyJournal of Pain and Symptom Management; by Marije A Brouwer, Marijanne Engel, Saskia C C M Teunissen, Carlo Leget, Marijke C Kars; 10/24The spiritual dimension plays a central role in the experiences of parents who care for children with life-threatening conditions, but they receive little support in this dimension, and care needs often go unnoticed. If we want to provide high-quality pediatric palliative care including adequate spiritual support for parents, we should focus on the wide range of their spiritual experiences, and provide support that focuses both on loss of meaning as well as on where parents find growth, joy or meaning.

Fun Run participants honor loved ones while raising funds for hospice care The Baynet, Waldorf, MD; by Hospice of the Chesapeaker; 10/14/24 Wearing commemorative T-shirts, flouncy tutus and colorful socks, the runners and walkers in Hospice of the Chesapeake’s Blue Crab Fun Run came to have fun while supporting an essential Charles County not-for-profit organization. They were cheered on by Reuben B. Collins, II, Esq., President of the Charles County Board of Commissioners, who served as Grand Marshal for the inaugural event. Collins said he was grateful for the support and guidance he received while his father was cared for by Hospice of the Chesapeake in 2022. “I am thinking of my father today and I know he is smiling down on us this morning,” Collins said. He encouraged participants to dedicate each of their steps to the memory of a loved one. ... The event raised nearly $30,000, with all proceeds benefitting patients and families in Charles County, ensuring they have access to expert and compassionate supportive, hospice and grief care.

Indianapolis Moms: How furry friends can help with grief and depression WISHTV.com, Indianapolis, IN: by Ashley Fowler; 10/9/24 Our four-legged friends can bring us laughter, joy, and love. But one Indianapolis woman says they can also help us heal. Roleen Demmings has written about her challenges with depression and grief after the death of her mother. ... “My mom was in hospice. She had cancer. My sister and I were her caretakers, and throughout that time, we noticed that we were gaining weight,” Demmings said. “We didn’t want to get out of bed; we had to force ourselves to and we realized the depression setting in even before she died.” She says she knew she needed to exercise more, eat better, and go to therapy, but then she found a non-traditional way of coping: a handsome Newfoundland/Poodle mix named Remy. “Those days where I didn’t want to get out of bed, I knew I had to walk him ...  He doesn’t understand depression, but, y’know, he’s really helped me with mine,” Demmings said. “While we were going through our sadness, he really was a light for us. I call him our lifeboat in the sea of depression.”

Guest column: Hopewest – Breaking the silence: Supporting suicide prevention and survivors of loss Special to the Herald Times; 10/2/24 Those left in the wake of a suicide loss sometimes aren’t sure where to turn or what to do. Uprooted by shock and overcome by the grief of losing someone to suicide can feel painful and isolating. ... The stigma surrounding suicide deaths, particularly on the Western Slope of Colorado, often hinders individuals from seeking the support they need. To address this crisis in our communities, we must not only bring awareness to suicide prevention but also collectively understand and acknowledge the challenges that survivors of suicide loss face. “Grief after the loss of a loved one to suicide is a unique and painful experience. Survivors struggle with a range of challenges, from the heavy weight of stigma surrounding the death, to judgment from others,” said Judy Eskelson, HopeWest Meeker Bereavement Counselor. “And for many in our community, they may not fully understand the ins and outs of this type of grief. Life after this kind of death can be overwhelmingly difficult, leaving families to navigate a path they never expected to walk.” ... Following the devastating loss of a loved one to suicide, the HopeWest bereavement team is here to walk alongside individuals and families needing a source of comfort and guidance through their grief journey. Editor's note: Though many hospices provide bare, minimum grief support, many others--like HopeWest--live out their mission by providing a fuller scope of bereavement counseling and support. What does your hospice provide? Throughout your service area, do bereaved persons (whether hospice deaths or not) think of your agency as the "dying, death and bereavement" expert, or not? 

I asked my dad to write my wedding speech after he was given 6 months to live. I'm holding on to it for my special day. AOL.com - Insider; by Lara Rodwell; 9/29/24 ... I remember the moment my dad told me he had six months to live like it was yesterday. ... "Lar, we need to have a chat," he said, hovering beside the edge of the bed. "I've received some news. It's not good." ... Wrapped in the comforting arms of my dad, I blurted, "Dad, you're not going to walk me down the aisle one day." ... During one sleepless night, it hit me. I wanted to create a keepsake where my dad and I could write letters, share memories and process our feelings, together. I found a tatty old notebook and wrote my first letter to him. ... The very first thing I asked him at the end of the letter, ink smudged with tears, was if he could write his wedding speech for me. ... It was a hot summer's morning, the day my dad died in the care of our local hospice. He'd been there for three weeks — in a lot of pain, stabilized by a lot of morphine — surrounded by his family. .... Later that day, ... amongst pages of financial practicalities and funeral wishes, there was a folder of white envelopes addressed to each of us - his wife and four children. On the front of mine read "Lar...". On the back: "Your wedding speech." To this day, the envelope remains sealed, tucked away at the bottom of my "dad box" — along with the notebook we shared, photo albums of memories, and a collection of swimming medals he wanted me to show his grandkids one day. ...

Grief memoir: Diapers and hospice We Are The Mighty; by Jessica Hall; 9/25/24 This is Chapter 8 in [Jessica Hall's] Grief Memoir. ... Following our trip to Disneyland, I was in the homestretch for my pregnancy. I was worried about what would happen when Dad went into the hospital again. What if it happened when I was in active labor? What if I was in a sleep-deprived haze with a newborn? How do I care for Dad when I’m far away and can’t travel? ... In the days before my planned induction, Dad was taken off intubation and was doing well enough. ... [Later in the story ...] I had given birth just two weeks before but I started to move quickly to go home. I started doing laundry so the baby and I could fly home to say goodbye to Dad. ...