Literature Review

Creating death box eases stress, brings 'peace of mind' to those left behind BradfordToday.ca, Canada; by Andrew Philips; 10/26/24 Creating a death box might sound like sort of a morbid thing to do, but it’s vitally important. That’s according to Tammy Vaters, supportive care coordinator at Hospice Huronia-Tomkins House, ... who leads upcoming workshops on creating a death box or a “legacy box or final wishes box” for those uncomfortable with the more succinct terminology ["death box"]. ... Besides end-of-life wishes, Vaters says the box can include photos that someone would like displayed at a celebration of life or similar offering along with personalized letters to family and friends and personal mementos that have special meaning. “It gives you more opportunities of expressing how you feel about somebody,” she says, noting the boxes should also contain usernames and passwords that may aid one's loved ones after death. “They can be more thoughtful and personal.” Vaters, who is a specialist in thanatology (the study of death, dying and bereavement), says people will often use another term for death. 

Palm Harbor family suffers flood after Milton, less than month after mother dies from breast cancer ABC WFTS Tampa Bay, FL; by Jessica De Leon; 10/26/24 One Palm Harbor family is gutting the first floor of their home, destroyed by flood waters after Hurricane Milton. Cali Gignac’s childhood home is not in a flood zone or near any large bodies of water, yet more than two feet of water entered her parents' townhome and destroyed everything just a month after her mother died. “We haven’t had a chance to sort her mementos. We haven’t had a chance to grieve her or anything. And now it’s like... everything is garbage.” Now, they are trying to save what they can, sometimes stopping to take a snapshot of notes or photos that they find. But as tears come, they quickly move on, knowing they have so much to do.“Our photo albums are just, like, melting.”Editor's note: Click here for a public service educational video, "Community Crisis and Grief," with a significant section devoted to coping with "normal" bereavement in the midst of a community crisis. Disclosure, provided by Composing Life Out of Loss, a sponsor of this newsletter.

[Netherlands] The spiritual dimension of parents' experiences caring for a seriously ill child: An interview studyJournal of Pain and Symptom Management; by Marije A Brouwer, Marijanne Engel, Saskia C C M Teunissen, Carlo Leget, Marijke C Kars; 10/24The spiritual dimension plays a central role in the experiences of parents who care for children with life-threatening conditions, but they receive little support in this dimension, and care needs often go unnoticed. If we want to provide high-quality pediatric palliative care including adequate spiritual support for parents, we should focus on the wide range of their spiritual experiences, and provide support that focuses both on loss of meaning as well as on where parents find growth, joy or meaning.

Fun Run participants honor loved ones while raising funds for hospice care The Baynet, Waldorf, MD; by Hospice of the Chesapeaker; 10/14/24 Wearing commemorative T-shirts, flouncy tutus and colorful socks, the runners and walkers in Hospice of the Chesapeake’s Blue Crab Fun Run came to have fun while supporting an essential Charles County not-for-profit organization. They were cheered on by Reuben B. Collins, II, Esq., President of the Charles County Board of Commissioners, who served as Grand Marshal for the inaugural event. Collins said he was grateful for the support and guidance he received while his father was cared for by Hospice of the Chesapeake in 2022. “I am thinking of my father today and I know he is smiling down on us this morning,” Collins said. He encouraged participants to dedicate each of their steps to the memory of a loved one. ... The event raised nearly $30,000, with all proceeds benefitting patients and families in Charles County, ensuring they have access to expert and compassionate supportive, hospice and grief care.

Indianapolis Moms: How furry friends can help with grief and depression WISHTV.com, Indianapolis, IN: by Ashley Fowler; 10/9/24 Our four-legged friends can bring us laughter, joy, and love. But one Indianapolis woman says they can also help us heal. Roleen Demmings has written about her challenges with depression and grief after the death of her mother. ... “My mom was in hospice. She had cancer. My sister and I were her caretakers, and throughout that time, we noticed that we were gaining weight,” Demmings said. “We didn’t want to get out of bed; we had to force ourselves to and we realized the depression setting in even before she died.” She says she knew she needed to exercise more, eat better, and go to therapy, but then she found a non-traditional way of coping: a handsome Newfoundland/Poodle mix named Remy. “Those days where I didn’t want to get out of bed, I knew I had to walk him ...  He doesn’t understand depression, but, y’know, he’s really helped me with mine,” Demmings said. “While we were going through our sadness, he really was a light for us. I call him our lifeboat in the sea of depression.”

Guest column: Hopewest – Breaking the silence: Supporting suicide prevention and survivors of loss Special to the Herald Times; 10/2/24 Those left in the wake of a suicide loss sometimes aren’t sure where to turn or what to do. Uprooted by shock and overcome by the grief of losing someone to suicide can feel painful and isolating. ... The stigma surrounding suicide deaths, particularly on the Western Slope of Colorado, often hinders individuals from seeking the support they need. To address this crisis in our communities, we must not only bring awareness to suicide prevention but also collectively understand and acknowledge the challenges that survivors of suicide loss face. “Grief after the loss of a loved one to suicide is a unique and painful experience. Survivors struggle with a range of challenges, from the heavy weight of stigma surrounding the death, to judgment from others,” said Judy Eskelson, HopeWest Meeker Bereavement Counselor. “And for many in our community, they may not fully understand the ins and outs of this type of grief. Life after this kind of death can be overwhelmingly difficult, leaving families to navigate a path they never expected to walk.” ... Following the devastating loss of a loved one to suicide, the HopeWest bereavement team is here to walk alongside individuals and families needing a source of comfort and guidance through their grief journey. Editor's note: Though many hospices provide bare, minimum grief support, many others--like HopeWest--live out their mission by providing a fuller scope of bereavement counseling and support. What does your hospice provide? Throughout your service area, do bereaved persons (whether hospice deaths or not) think of your agency as the "dying, death and bereavement" expert, or not? 

I asked my dad to write my wedding speech after he was given 6 months to live. I'm holding on to it for my special day. AOL.com - Insider; by Lara Rodwell; 9/29/24 ... I remember the moment my dad told me he had six months to live like it was yesterday. ... "Lar, we need to have a chat," he said, hovering beside the edge of the bed. "I've received some news. It's not good." ... Wrapped in the comforting arms of my dad, I blurted, "Dad, you're not going to walk me down the aisle one day." ... During one sleepless night, it hit me. I wanted to create a keepsake where my dad and I could write letters, share memories and process our feelings, together. I found a tatty old notebook and wrote my first letter to him. ... The very first thing I asked him at the end of the letter, ink smudged with tears, was if he could write his wedding speech for me. ... It was a hot summer's morning, the day my dad died in the care of our local hospice. He'd been there for three weeks — in a lot of pain, stabilized by a lot of morphine — surrounded by his family. .... Later that day, ... amongst pages of financial practicalities and funeral wishes, there was a folder of white envelopes addressed to each of us - his wife and four children. On the front of mine read "Lar...". On the back: "Your wedding speech." To this day, the envelope remains sealed, tucked away at the bottom of my "dad box" — along with the notebook we shared, photo albums of memories, and a collection of swimming medals he wanted me to show his grandkids one day. ...

Grief memoir: Diapers and hospice We Are The Mighty; by Jessica Hall; 9/25/24 This is Chapter 8 in [Jessica Hall's] Grief Memoir. ... Following our trip to Disneyland, I was in the homestretch for my pregnancy. I was worried about what would happen when Dad went into the hospital again. What if it happened when I was in active labor? What if I was in a sleep-deprived haze with a newborn? How do I care for Dad when I’m far away and can’t travel? ... In the days before my planned induction, Dad was taken off intubation and was doing well enough. ... [Later in the story ...] I had given birth just two weeks before but I started to move quickly to go home. I started doing laundry so the baby and I could fly home to say goodbye to Dad. ...

Wind phones help the bereaved deal with death, loss and grief − a clinical social worker explains the vital role of the old-fashioned rotary phone The Conversation; by Taryn Lindhorst; 9/20/24 My mother died in my home in hospice in 2020, on the day my state of Washington went into COVID-19 lockdown. Her body was taken away, but none of the usual touchstones for grief were available to our family. ... As a clinical social worker and health scholar with 40 years of experience in end-of-life care and bereavement, I knew that I needed some way to tend to my grief for my mother. While in lockdown, I began looking for resources to help me. Then I heard about the wind phone. What is a wind phone? At its simplest, a wind phone is a rotary or push-button phone located in a secluded spot in nature, usually within a booth-type structure and often next to a chair or bench. The phone line is disconnected. People use the wind phone to “call” and have a one-way conversation with deceased loved ones. Here they can say the things left unsaid. Wind phones offer a setting for the person to tell the story of their grief, to reminiscence and to continue to connect to the person who is gone. For many, it is a deeply moving, life-affirming experience. About 200 wind phones are scattered throughout the United States. Editor's note: This creative tool is similar to common clinical tools of writing a letter to the deceased person, and the "Empty Chair" technique. Caution: This should never be used as a gimmick. This can be terribly confusing and upsetting for persons with dementia, or supportive if used with professional sensitivity for the patient's awareness and experience. For persons with dementia, be familiar with the ground-breaking "Validation Therapy" techniques by Naomi Feil. 

[Honoring Hispanic Heritage Month] Artists on death, grief, and cancer Burnaway; by Carolina Ana Drake; 9/17/24... Living in Miami and raising my toddler in this city, I’ve discovered artists who similarly lost a parent to cancer. Many, like me, happen to be the children of immigrants. Their works exemplify challenging, at times experimental, art that doesn’t fit the glitzy, market-driven Miami narrative. Through conversations and email exchanges, I learned more about how these artists transformed the darkness and grief of that period into something beautiful that is worth sharing with others. [Click on the title's link to see photos from the following exhibits.]

Bittersweet bouquet: Hospice worker transforms her grief into a garden of memories ABC 13, Grand Rapids, MI; by Matt Gard; 9/5/24For the most part, Kaitlyn Dawson’s desk at the Emmanuel Hospice office is exactly what you’d expect it to be. On her left, she has office supplies, ... but it’s what’s on the wall over her left shoulder that really gives this workspace character. Inside three separate picture frames are hundreds of flowers. Kaitlyn was an art major at Grand Valley State University before she switched to social work, and she still has a passion for creativity. Every one of those flowers – whether red, purple or orange - was her creation. ... “These flowers represent patients that I have been able to be a part of their journey at end of life,” said Kaitlyn, who has worked in hospice for about four years. “I had one particular case that was really difficult, and I remember leaving that visit and thinking ‘I'm going to start doing this process in honor of her.’ And I went to the store and I bought pencils and a notebook and decided I was going to do flowers. It was easy. It was simple. It was something I could sit down and do in the evening, and if I lost a couple of people that day, I could draw a couple of flowers.” Before Kaitlyn knew it, she had a "bittersweet bouquet."

Hoffmann Hospice to host Grief Support Camp for Children of first responders KGET Bakersfield, California; by Jaspreet Multani; 8/29/24 Hoffmann Hospice will host its second annual free grief support camp for children and teens of first responders on Saturday, Sept 14, 2024. The event called “A Heart for Hero’s Art Camp,” provides a safe space for young people grieving the loss of a loved one such as a parent, sibling, or grandparent. ...  Led by experienced grief counselors, the camp offers therapeutic activities and support to help children express their grief in a nurturing environment. ... “We have a huge heart for kids, especially those who put themselves on the line for us every day,” said Ryan D’ Amato of Hoffmann Hospice.Editor's Note: While many hospices provide excellent grief camps for children and teens, this one stands out for tending the unique experiences for families of first responders. Many of these deaths will have been sudden and tragic--without hospice care--and often more complex to grasp and grieve. Hoffman Hospice's website indicates support for other non-hospice deaths: Miscarriage, Still Birth or Sudden Loss; Suicide. Bravo and thank you to Hoffman Hospice and other hospices who utilize your grief services to support your larger communities through often-disenfranchised deaths and grief.

Access to legacy-oriented interventions at end of life for pediatric oncology patients: A decedent cohort reviewPediatric Blood and Cancer; by Sarah Daniels, Nelson D Franqui-Rios, Suraj S Mothi, Elizabeth Gaitskill, Kathryn Cantrell, Erica C Kaye; 8/24Legacy-oriented interventions have the potential to offer pediatric oncology patients and families comfort at end of life and during bereavement. Certified child life specialists often provide these services, and presently little is known about whether disparities exist in the provision of legacy-oriented interventions. [In this study] fifty-two percent of patients received a legacy-oriented intervention. Older adolescents (≥13 years) were less likely ... to receive legacy-oriented interventions than younger ones. Patients with home/hospice deaths were also less likely ... to receive interventions compared to patients who passed away at SJCRH [St. Jude Children's Research Hospital] locations. Hispanic patients ... and those in palliative care ... were more likely to receive interventions.