Grieving the living: How Hospice of St. Lawrence Valley helps caregivers cope

Grieving the living: How Hospice of St. Lawrence Valley helps caregivers cope 
North Country Now, St. Lawrence County, NY; by Kate Favaro, Hospice of St. Lawrence Valley; 7/10/25 
With caregiving comes grief, there’s no way around it. You will grieve two important things that you’ve lost: who the person you’re caring for used to be, and the things that will never be. Take the time to explore the grief you’re experiencing so you can provide the best care possible. If you’re not taking care of yourself, you won’t be able to take care of anyone else. Hospice of St. Lawrence Valley offers the following on the grief of caregiving:

• You will grieve someone who is still here physically. This is especially true if the person has a condition which impacts their brain and personality. ...
• Allow yourself to identify what exactly it is you miss about the person. Did they used to love to fish but can no longer hold a rod and reel steady? ...
• You will grieve what will never be. Seeing the future change as the person you’re caregiving for declines is a very real loss. ...

Editor's Note: Thank you Kate and Hospice of St. Lawrence Valley! You got this grief care right, when too many hospices miss the mark by communicating that (1) grief care occurs after the death, and/or (2) that anticipatory grief is simply fearing what will happen after the death. The CMS Conditions of Participation - Hospice § 418.3 defines: "Bereavement counseling means emotional, psychosocial, and spiritual support and services provided before and after the death of the patient to assist with issues related to grief, loss, and adjustment." All hospice interdisciplinary team members model basic loss, grief, and coping skills with patients, caregivers and families. Are their skills great or misguided?  Click here for an educational/support video for caregivers and families on "Anticipatory Grief," used by helathcare organizations nationwide. (Disclosure, provided by Composing Life Out of Loss, a sponsor of this newsletter.)