The death issue: Austin’s Children’s hospice professionals advocate for honesty

The death issue: Austin’s Children’s hospice professionals advocate for honesty 
The Austin Chronicle; by Maggie Quinlan; 10/11/24 
Sometimes parents wait too long to tell their sick children that they will die. ... She said often the dying child will become an “emotional caretaker” in the hospital room where they’ve just learned that their illness will kill them. “Even though it’s happening to them, they tend to really want to protect their family.” It doesn’t have to be that way. Cosby says a lot of the job is beautiful, even fun. Families make memories, and child life specialists help make it happen. They go to see the ocean. They throw private proms and graduation ceremonies. They finger paint. They crack jokes. They decide to make the most of precious little time. ... “Grief is the price of love, and there’s so much love in there,” says Heather Eppelheimer, another Dell Children’s child life specialist. “We have to be able to love fully in order to also grieve fully.” Child life specialists respect family wishes and also advocate for honest, clear language about death. They say to use that word – death, dying, die – and avoid “passing away” (“To where?” Cosby asks). ... She thinks of a teen patient whose parents never hid anything, whose family went on adventures, whose heartbeat was recorded and now plays on speakers in dozens of stuffed animals gifted to young family members. That patient had a mantra, sometimes spoken through tears: I’ve lived a really good life.