A daughter’s cautionary elder care tale

A daughter’s cautionary elder care tale 
The Progressive Magazine - Book Review; by Bill Lueders; 5/12/25 
The call that woke Judy Karofsky in the middle of the night on May 18, 2015, was from a hospice nurse, who got right to the point: “I’m calling to tell you that your mother has died.” Karofsky, deeply shaken by the unexpected news, managed to ask, “Did she struggle?” Karofsky’s important new book, DisElderly Conduct: The Flawed Business of Assisted Living and Hospice, does not mention the hospice nurse’s response to this question. But it does note that she called back a moment later to say: “I’m so sorry . . . . I called the wrong number. I’m at a different facility and I had the wrong file.” Karofsky’s mother, Lillian Deutsch, had not died at all. It was someone else’s mother. Apologies were made. This is just one of many stories Karofsky shares throughout the book about the final years of her mother’s life in Wisconsin. This particular anecdote strikes me as noteworthy not just as an example of the sort of awful things that can happen when facilities are understaffed and staff members are overworked, but also because Karofsky’s first reaction was to wonder whether she struggled.
Editor's note: Though printed news typically lifts up the good, compassionate moments of hospice care, most all of us have experienced negative accounts--professionally and/or personally. While this book is sure to give significant insights, perhaps the most important lessons are waiting to be validated from your own family caregivers, employees, and volunteers. What stories are behind your lower-than-you-want CAHPS Hospice scores? Dig deeper. May we all listen, learn, and improve care.