Being present is one way to help dying friend

Being present is one way to help dying friend
Ask the Doctors; by Elizabeth Ko, MD and Eve Glazier, MD; 7/5/24
Dear Doctors: My friend was diagnosed with multiple myeloma 10 years ago. His chemo is no longer working, and his doctors say there’s nothing else to be done. He has accepted whatever is coming. He has lost weight, and sometimes the pain is bad. How can I help him?
Dear Reader: No matter how long someone has been dealing with a serious illness, the cessation of active treatment can be devastating. This is true not only for the person approaching the end of their life, but also for family and friends. The response to this transition often includes a rotating mix of grief, sorrow, fear, anxiety, dread and anger. However, people also often feel acceptance, peace, hope and even relief. Again, these are experienced not only by the individual who is ill, but also by the people around them. When spending time with someone with a terminal illness, you are looking for balance. That is, you want to be supportive and helpful, but not overwhelm them with your attentions. Hospice care professionals say this can be achieved by asking the person what they need. ... Always check with the person before starting a new task or a project. This keeps them in control of the events around them, which bolsters mental and emotional well-being. [Italics and bold are from this newsletter's editor.]
Editor's Note: Calling all hospice and palliative leaders, in the midst of carrying out our professional roles most of us experience the dying and deaths of family, friends, and acquaintances. This article gives meaningful, practical ways to both be present and do simple things that can empower and support the person who is dying. We invite you to pair this article with our newsletter's "Today's Encouragement: We are human beings ..."